Now let me share a...I guess funny story. So a couple of weeks ago I wasn't having a very good day. This day happened to be a Saturday, which are kind of the bane of my existence sometimes. My day started out well with time at the temple, and I'm glad that I had that time of spirituality because after that my day went downhill. After the temple I went to work at the chocolate factory. It was the Saturday just before Valentine's day and it was surprisingly slow, and when it's slow at work I have a lot of time to think, sometime too much time to think, and when I think it's usually a bad thing. Well it was the week after my big date and I hadn't heard from Roberto, and I had even tried inviting him to a game night, but nothin'. So I was trying to figure out what I did to scare this boy away because that seems to be my M.O. Well I was getting depressed and them my boss Ben came in to the store for a minute. Ben is the one who set me up with Roberto, and Ben is determined to get me married off. He also thinks that I should do everything, not really but sometimes it feels that way.. Anyway Ben came in and I was telling him how upset I was. Does this make me sound like a baby? I really don't understand the whole relationship thing, I'm trying to, but I seem to just make a mess out of nothing. I'm not desperate either, well maybe a little bit. Give me a break I'm going through a hard time. Which brings me to what made my day even better. So after talking to Ben and him making me cry, I left work to go decorate heart shaped cookies with Kymn, her boyfriend and her family. Well after cookies Kymn and I were supposed to go ring shopping. Well there ended up being a slight change of plans. Kymn's boyfriend decided he wanted to come along. So now it was me and the happy couple. Well we ended up at the mall and while they were choosing rings I decided to wander off for a minute because I felt very out of place. Well when I wandered back into the jewelry store I ran into another one of my best friends looking at rings with her new fiancee. Now I'm happy for both of my friends but it was not a good day for me to find out that two of my best friends are getting married, and one of them is the person I was supposed to be moving in with in June, which apparently isn't happening now. Anyway after I ran into Erika I had to go wander off again. I ended up in a corner of Barnes and Noble trying to hide my puffy eyes behind a book. It wasn't until Kymn text me that I went out of hiding and wandered back to the jewelry store. Russ was purchasing a ring as I walked in and Erika came over to talk to me. After that Russ took Kymn and I out to dinner. I'm pretty sure he felt bad for me. When we got to the restaurant there was about a half hour wait and I had left my phone in his car so I went back to his car and I just broke down and sat on the curb and cried. Luckily Kymn was there to comfort me.
It's stupid that being single bugs me as much as it does, but I think I'm just frustrated with the fact that I'm in my twenties and have never had a boyfriend. Plus it gets annoying being the third wheel all the time. I don't mind hanging out with my friends and their boyfriends but sometimes it can get awkward being there, even though they claim they want me to hang out with them, sometimes I feel like I'm intruding and that they're just trying to be nice because they feel bad for me.
I'm trying to see the positive in this.
So here's a list of reasons why it is great being single (Some of these may be a bit irrational but I'm trying to make myself feel better ;) ):
- Being single means you don't have anything or anyone holding you back. If I had a boyfriend or was married there is no way I would be going to England in May.
- Since I don't have anyone depending on me I can be spontaneous and take a road trip to anywhere if I wanted.
- I don't have to check in with anyone.
- I only have to pay for one at the movies, at dinner, whatever.
- I don't have to worry about what my significant other is doing or if he is cheating on me or doing something stupid.
- I can flirt with whomever I want.
- I don't have to share anything with anyone.
- I can look at hot guys and fantasize about them.
- I can cry at a movie and not have my boyfriend make fun of me.
- I can watch all of my Jane Austen and other sappy romance movies without a guy complaining.
- I can be myself and not have anyone judge me or try to change me.
- I can travel, go to school, do pretty much whatever I choose without having to compromise.
- I don't have to compromise.
- I can have a cardboard cutout of Legolas in my bedroom ;) yes I still have him, and Edward too.
In May I will be graduating, then I'll be going to London for two weeks, then I'll be working all summer to save money so I can move to Salt Lake with my friend Allison, fingers crossed. This is just one trial I have to work through and I know someday, in the Lord's time, I will eventually find a man who will love me and treat me like a queen. Until then I will enjoy being single and seeing the world.
If you think of any other reasons why it is awesome to be single please comment and share. I need more reasons to love being single.